Blog
Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager
Preventing the
Misconduct of Your Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor &
Teenagerren or Employeess
In your relationship with your Child,
Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or
employees, remember that their behavior and intentions
towards you will change only when you change your
approach. Although you do not cause them to misbehave,
you can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior by
reacting in ways they expect.
behavior, conduct,
misconduct, emotional triggers, the senses, triggers,
management, supervision,
Human behavior, whether
that of a Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or a grown employee, always stems from a
goal or purpose. Starting as a thought, the behavior is
further enforced by triggers of the emotions and senses.
This behavior, when it is "good", gets us rewards and
recognition, while on the other hand, negative, or
"bad", behavior creates a strain on a relationship,
sometimes fatally.
If you were to look at it
closely, the misconduct of some employees closely
resembles that of a Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor &
Teenager's misbehavior while he is
seeking his mother's attention and not receiving it.
Remember the antics of a young Child, Juvenile, Kiddic,
Minor & Teenager in the supermarket
who had a "Terrible Two's" tantrum because his mother
won't but him the candy or toy he wanted? Well, it is my
opinion that the goal behind the employee's purposeful
misconduct is to seek attention, in one way or another.
"Every behavior, good or bad, has a goal behind
it."
Looking at the goals that triggers
misconduct, let's begin by looking at the primary
misconduct, that of attention-seeking. Behavioral
studies show that the desire for attention is universal
in all people, regardless of age, color, language,
culture, etc. People tend to seek attention in positive
and useful ways; but if they can't get it that way, they
will seek attention in negative and useless ways.
Turning the Negative into a Positive To become
effective in helping negative attention-seekers, we must
first change our response to them by showing them that
they can be accepted as a useful and contribution member
of the family or organization. We do this effectively
when we show them that they achieve significance through
their positive and useful contributions rather than
through they useless bids for attention or service. In
order to focus on their constructive behavior, we must
either ignore their misbehavior or pay attention to it
in ways they don't expect. Caution: Attention should
never be given on demand, even for positive acts,
because doing so reinforces their inappropriate desire
for attention.
* Instead of reinforcing their
negative and untrue belief that they don't belong unless
they are the center of attention, help them develop
positive feelings about themselves, their abilities, and
their contributions.
Who's Your Daddy?
Next set of misbehaviors are those of the power-seekers
who feel that they are significant only when they are
bossing (bullying?) people around. They tend to do what
they want, when they want, and how they want despite the
rules, regulations, or policies. Even when their parents
or supervisors succeed in subduing them, the victory is
only temporary. The argument may be won, but the
relationship is lost - maybe permanently. On the other
hand, sometimes the defying Child, Juvenile, Kiddic,
Minor & Teenager or employee may seem
to be complying, but they are doing so in their own way,
in their own time, and at their own speed, all contrary
to the rules, regulations, or policies. This artificial
obedience is known as "defiant compliance". If this
struggle for power continues and the power-seeker comes
to feel that they cannot defeat their parents or
supervisor, they may trade-in their desire for power for
their next misconduct weaponry, that of subtle revenge.
* When dealing with power-seekers, refrain from
getting angry, from "blowing your top", and disengage
from the power struggle by refusing to hold a no-win
conversation. After arranging an appointment to meet
with them when they calm down, turn your back and walk
away. (After all, it does take two to tango, doesn't
it?)
When Getting Mad Is Getting Even or
Stopping the Madness
The revenge-seekers are
somewhat paranoid in their thinking, in convincing
themselves that the world is out to get them, in
believing that they have no significance unless they are
hurting others, and in finding their belonging by being
cruel in their relationships. Unfortunately, they
trigger a downwards spiraling chain of events. Their
revengeful acts, when discovered, deeply hurt their
parents or supervisors, causing them to want to
retaliate. The revenge-seekers then respond to the
counterattacks by seeking further revenge, either by
intensifying their misbehavior or by selecting another
item from their weaponry inventory.
* To be of
help to the revenge-seekers, train yourself to avoid
retaliation, at all cost. As difficult as it may seem,
train yourself to improve your relationship with the
revenge-seeker by remaining calm and showing them
goodwill. Be prepared to the unexpected: If the war of
revenge continues despite your attempts to defuse it,
the revenge-seeker may come to feel completely defeated
and may give all attempts to become a contributing
member. They may even turn their feelings inwards by
displaying manipulation as their next weapon of choice.
To Suck Up or Seek Out? That Is the Question.
Manipulators, because they tend to feel
inadequate to interact appropriately in a relationship,
may display feigned inadequacies or disabilities. Rather
than come right out with their wishes, wants, and
desires, they will find elaborate ways to get others to
do something for them. They become con men and women. To
them they are finding the "easy and sure way" to get
what their want by lying, cheating, overcommitting,
supercharming, and "gently" aggressive.
* To
help the manipulator convert this misconduct, train
yourself to eliminate criticism, and focus, instead, on
their assets, strengths, and abilities. Look for ways to
help them, as I like to call it, "maximize their
potential".
Turning Misconduct Into Super
Performance
Remember that all misbehavior and
misconduct, even appropriate bids for attention, stems
from discouragement. Discouraged people lack the courage
to behave in an active, productive, and constructive
manner. Their misbehavior does not become evident unless
the manipulator perceives a real or imagined loss of
status. Whatever goal or purpose the manipulation
serves, it is done in the belief that only in this way
can they have a place in the family or organization.
Conclusion: In your relationship with your Child,
Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or
employees, remember that their behavior and intentions
towards you will change only when you change your
approach. Although you do not cause them to misbehave,
you can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior by
reacting in ways they expect. Therefore, concentrate
your efforts on changing your behavior if you want them
to change theirs.
Preventing the
Misconduct of Your Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor &
Teenagerren or Employeess
In your relationship with your Child,
Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or
employees, remember that their behavior and intentions
towards you will change only when you change your
approach. Although you do not cause them to misbehave,
you can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior by
reacting in ways they expect.
behavior, conduct,
misconduct, emotional triggers, the senses, triggers,
management, supervision,
Human behavior, whether
that of a Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or a grown employee, always stems from a
goal or purpose. Starting as a thought, the behavior is
further enforced by triggers of the emotions and senses.
This behavior, when it is "good", gets us rewards and
recognition, while on the other hand, negative, or
"bad", behavior creates a strain on a relationship,
sometimes fatally.
If you were to look at it
closely, the misconduct of some employees closely
resembles that of a Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor &
Teenager's misbehavior while he is
seeking his mother's attention and not receiving it.
Remember the antics of a young Child, Juvenile, Kiddic,
Minor & Teenager in the supermarket
who had a "Terrible Two's" tantrum because his mother
won't but him the candy or toy he wanted? Well, it is my
opinion that the goal behind the employee's purposeful
misconduct is to seek attention, in one way or another.
"Every behavior, good or bad, has a goal behind
it."
Looking at the goals that triggers
misconduct, let's begin by looking at the primary
misconduct, that of attention-seeking. Behavioral
studies show that the desire for attention is universal
in all people, regardless of age, color, language,
culture, etc. People tend to seek attention in positive
and useful ways; but if they can't get it that way, they
will seek attention in negative and useless ways.
Turning the Negative into a Positive To become
effective in helping negative attention-seekers, we must
first change our response to them by showing them that
they can be accepted as a useful and contribution member
of the family or organization. We do this effectively
when we show them that they achieve significance through
their positive and useful contributions rather than
through they useless bids for attention or service. In
order to focus on their constructive behavior, we must
either ignore their misbehavior or pay attention to it
in ways they don't expect. Caution: Attention should
never be given on demand, even for positive acts,
because doing so reinforces their inappropriate desire
for attention.
* Instead of reinforcing their
negative and untrue belief that they don't belong unless
they are the center of attention, help them develop
positive feelings about themselves, their abilities, and
their contributions.
Who's Your Daddy?
Next set of misbehaviors are those of the power-seekers
who feel that they are significant only when they are
bossing (bullying?) people around. They tend to do what
they want, when they want, and how they want despite the
rules, regulations, or policies. Even when their parents
or supervisors succeed in subduing them, the victory is
only temporary. The argument may be won, but the
relationship is lost - maybe permanently. On the other
hand, sometimes the defying Child, Juvenile, Kiddic,
Minor & Teenager or employee may seem
to be complying, but they are doing so in their own way,
in their own time, and at their own speed, all contrary
to the rules, regulations, or policies. This artificial
obedience is known as "defiant compliance". If this
struggle for power continues and the power-seeker comes
to feel that they cannot defeat their parents or
supervisor, they may trade-in their desire for power for
their next misconduct weaponry, that of subtle revenge.
* When dealing with power-seekers, refrain from
getting angry, from "blowing your top", and disengage
from the power struggle by refusing to hold a no-win
conversation. After arranging an appointment to meet
with them when they calm down, turn your back and walk
away. (After all, it does take two to tango, doesn't
it?)
When Getting Mad Is Getting Even or
Stopping the Madness
The revenge-seekers are
somewhat paranoid in their thinking, in convincing
themselves that the world is out to get them, in
believing that they have no significance unless they are
hurting others, and in finding their belonging by being
cruel in their relationships. Unfortunately, they
trigger a downwards spiraling chain of events. Their
revengeful acts, when discovered, deeply hurt their
parents or supervisors, causing them to want to
retaliate. The revenge-seekers then respond to the
counterattacks by seeking further revenge, either by
intensifying their misbehavior or by selecting another
item from their weaponry inventory.
* To be of
help to the revenge-seekers, train yourself to avoid
retaliation, at all cost. As difficult as it may seem,
train yourself to improve your relationship with the
revenge-seeker by remaining calm and showing them
goodwill. Be prepared to the unexpected: If the war of
revenge continues despite your attempts to defuse it,
the revenge-seeker may come to feel completely defeated
and may give all attempts to become a contributing
member. They may even turn their feelings inwards by
displaying manipulation as their next weapon of choice.
To Suck Up or Seek Out? That Is the Question.
Manipulators, because they tend to feel
inadequate to interact appropriately in a relationship,
may display feigned inadequacies or disabilities. Rather
than come right out with their wishes, wants, and
desires, they will find elaborate ways to get others to
do something for them. They become con men and women. To
them they are finding the "easy and sure way" to get
what their want by lying, cheating, overcommitting,
supercharming, and "gently" aggressive.
* To
help the manipulator convert this misconduct, train
yourself to eliminate criticism, and focus, instead, on
their assets, strengths, and abilities. Look for ways to
help them, as I like to call it, "maximize their
potential".
Turning Misconduct Into Super
Performance
Remember that all misbehavior and
misconduct, even appropriate bids for attention, stems
from discouragement. Discouraged people lack the courage
to behave in an active, productive, and constructive
manner. Their misbehavior does not become evident unless
the manipulator perceives a real or imagined loss of
status. Whatever goal or purpose the manipulation
serves, it is done in the belief that only in this way
can they have a place in the family or organization.
Conclusion: In your relationship with your Child,
Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or
employees, remember that their behavior and intentions
towards you will change only when you change your
approach. Although you do not cause them to misbehave,
you can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior by
reacting in ways they expect. Therefore, concentrate
your efforts on changing your behavior if you want them
to change theirs.
Preventing the
Misconduct of Your Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor &
Teenagerren or Employeess
In your relationship with your Child,
Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or
employees, remember that their behavior and intentions
towards you will change only when you change your
approach. Although you do not cause them to misbehave,
you can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior by
reacting in ways they expect.
behavior, conduct,
misconduct, emotional triggers, the senses, triggers,
management, supervision,
Human behavior, whether
that of a Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or a grown employee, always stems from a
goal or purpose. Starting as a thought, the behavior is
further enforced by triggers of the emotions and senses.
This behavior, when it is "good", gets us rewards and
recognition, while on the other hand, negative, or
"bad", behavior creates a strain on a relationship,
sometimes fatally.
If you were to look at it
closely, the misconduct of some employees closely
resembles that of a Child, Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor &
Teenager's misbehavior while he is
seeking his mother's attention and not receiving it.
Remember the antics of a young Child, Juvenile, Kiddic,
Minor & Teenager in the supermarket
who had a "Terrible Two's" tantrum because his mother
won't but him the candy or toy he wanted? Well, it is my
opinion that the goal behind the employee's purposeful
misconduct is to seek attention, in one way or another.
"Every behavior, good or bad, has a goal behind
it."
Looking at the goals that triggers
misconduct, let's begin by looking at the primary
misconduct, that of attention-seeking. Behavioral
studies show that the desire for attention is universal
in all people, regardless of age, color, language,
culture, etc. People tend to seek attention in positive
and useful ways; but if they can't get it that way, they
will seek attention in negative and useless ways.
Turning the Negative into a Positive To become
effective in helping negative attention-seekers, we must
first change our response to them by showing them that
they can be accepted as a useful and contribution member
of the family or organization. We do this effectively
when we show them that they achieve significance through
their positive and useful contributions rather than
through they useless bids for attention or service. In
order to focus on their constructive behavior, we must
either ignore their misbehavior or pay attention to it
in ways they don't expect. Caution: Attention should
never be given on demand, even for positive acts,
because doing so reinforces their inappropriate desire
for attention.
* Instead of reinforcing their
negative and untrue belief that they don't belong unless
they are the center of attention, help them develop
positive feelings about themselves, their abilities, and
their contributions.
Who's Your Daddy?
Next set of misbehaviors are those of the power-seekers
who feel that they are significant only when they are
bossing (bullying?) people around. They tend to do what
they want, when they want, and how they want despite the
rules, regulations, or policies. Even when their parents
or supervisors succeed in subduing them, the victory is
only temporary. The argument may be won, but the
relationship is lost - maybe permanently. On the other
hand, sometimes the defying Child, Juvenile, Kiddic,
Minor & Teenager or employee may seem
to be complying, but they are doing so in their own way,
in their own time, and at their own speed, all contrary
to the rules, regulations, or policies. This artificial
obedience is known as "defiant compliance". If this
struggle for power continues and the power-seeker comes
to feel that they cannot defeat their parents or
supervisor, they may trade-in their desire for power for
their next misconduct weaponry, that of subtle revenge.
* When dealing with power-seekers, refrain from
getting angry, from "blowing your top", and disengage
from the power struggle by refusing to hold a no-win
conversation. After arranging an appointment to meet
with them when they calm down, turn your back and walk
away. (After all, it does take two to tango, doesn't
it?)
When Getting Mad Is Getting Even or
Stopping the Madness
The revenge-seekers are
somewhat paranoid in their thinking, in convincing
themselves that the world is out to get them, in
believing that they have no significance unless they are
hurting others, and in finding their belonging by being
cruel in their relationships. Unfortunately, they
trigger a downwards spiraling chain of events. Their
revengeful acts, when discovered, deeply hurt their
parents or supervisors, causing them to want to
retaliate. The revenge-seekers then respond to the
counterattacks by seeking further revenge, either by
intensifying their misbehavior or by selecting another
item from their weaponry inventory.
* To be of
help to the revenge-seekers, train yourself to avoid
retaliation, at all cost. As difficult as it may seem,
train yourself to improve your relationship with the
revenge-seeker by remaining calm and showing them
goodwill. Be prepared to the unexpected: If the war of
revenge continues despite your attempts to defuse it,
the revenge-seeker may come to feel completely defeated
and may give all attempts to become a contributing
member. They may even turn their feelings inwards by
displaying manipulation as their next weapon of choice.
To Suck Up or Seek Out? That Is the Question.
Manipulators, because they tend to feel
inadequate to interact appropriately in a relationship,
may display feigned inadequacies or disabilities. Rather
than come right out with their wishes, wants, and
desires, they will find elaborate ways to get others to
do something for them. They become con men and women. To
them they are finding the "easy and sure way" to get
what their want by lying, cheating, overcommitting,
supercharming, and "gently" aggressive.
* To
help the manipulator convert this misconduct, train
yourself to eliminate criticism, and focus, instead, on
their assets, strengths, and abilities. Look for ways to
help them, as I like to call it, "maximize their
potential".
Turning Misconduct Into Super
Performance
Remember that all misbehavior and
misconduct, even appropriate bids for attention, stems
from discouragement. Discouraged people lack the courage
to behave in an active, productive, and constructive
manner. Their misbehavior does not become evident unless
the manipulator perceives a real or imagined loss of
status. Whatever goal or purpose the manipulation
serves, it is done in the belief that only in this way
can they have a place in the family or organization.
Conclusion: In your relationship with your Child,
Juvenile, Kiddic, Minor & Teenager or
employees, remember that their behavior and intentions
towards you will change only when you change your
approach. Although you do not cause them to misbehave,
you can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior by
reacting in ways they expect. Therefore, concentrate
your efforts on changing your behavior if you want them
to change theirs.