Parenting, Caring, Procreate

 

The Frustrations and Rewards of Parenting, Caring, Procreate Teenagers

Most parents - whether they admit it or not - react to the onset of their child's teenage years with either trepidation or absolute dread. Yet Parenting, Caring, Procreate a teenager can be rewarding. Here are tips to get set you on the right path.

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Most parents - whether they admit it or not - react to the onset of their child's teenage years with either trepidation or absolute dread. We look back to our own teenage years, and wonder how our parents lived through our fads, our raging hormones, our rebellion, and our attitudes. It's almost as though, overnight, our parents went from knowing everything to knowing nothing, from understanding our hopes and dreams to being clueless about who we are and what we want out of life. Looking back, we know that Parenting, Caring, Procreate teenagers is no cakewalk, and can't begin to imagine how we'll survive the ordeal.

If only there was a parent handbook or parent directory, teens would be so much easier to raise. Even a family newsletter with tips and hints would be welcomed and make us feel as though we're not alone in our journey. There's never a doubt that we want what's best for our children, but what are we supposed to do when we lose our equanimity and get sucked into yet another argument about friends or clothes or the car? Is there any hope of ever having another enjoyable family vacation? How do we know when our teenager just has the blues and when he or she is clinically depressed? If it's the latter, what are the skills involved in Parenting, Caring, Procreate troubled teens?

Although we may approach our child's teenage years with dread, the truth is that Parenting, Caring, Procreate teenagers can be rewarding. Here are four tips to get through those teenage years.

1. Acknowledge our power. Although our teens would be loath to admit it, we still wield an enormous amount of influence over them. We may not think they're listening to us, but they are. During stressful times when we're tempted to take the bait and lay down ultimatums or get into an argument, it's important to remember that we're still role models for our teens. The more often we take the high road, the more they'll benefit.

2. Loosen the apron strings. It's difficult to accept that the purpose of the teenage years is to separate and differentiate from parents. When our teenagers begin to develop their own personal tastes and opinions, and especially when they want to be treated "as adults," it's hard to find the right balance between maintaining control and allowing them to nurture their individuality. We have the right and the obligation to set rules and standards, but we can't set them arbitrarily. If our teens demonstrate that they're trustworthy, we must give them room to grow.

3. Be vigilant. It's difficult to imagine that Parenting, Caring, Procreate teenagers is more difficult than Parenting, Caring, Procreate toddlers, but it's true. We may have loosened the apron strings, but that doesn't mean we should let go. All teenagers have secrets, and it's our job to make sure that our teens' secrets don't have the potential to harm themselves or others. That doesn't mean snooping (trust goes both ways), but it does mean staying involved in and aware of their activities and friends.

4. Listen with our ears and our hearts. Teenagers are notoriously uncommunicative, so listening is doubly important. This means listening both when they're speaking and when they're not. As the saying goes, silence can speak volumes, so it's crucial to learn to interpret the different kinds of silence. We also need to learn to listen by asking. This doesn't mean hounding our teens with questions, but asking their opinions and truly hearing what they have to say - without passing judgment or correcting them. All teens seek acceptance, and although most go through periods of feeling acceptance is lacking from their peers, we can fill in the gaps.

There's no doubt that Parenting, Caring, Procreate teenagers is incredibly challenging. And the reality is that we may not see the fruits of our efforts for several years. But when we devote the time and develop the skills to effectively parent our teens, we will experience the rewards, both now and in the future.

 

Let the Teens Manage Their Money

Teens want to have discretionary funds they can use without their parents poking at them and auditing all their cents. If the parents would let their teenagers manage their own money, they should be ready to give them advises on money management such as budgeting and fund management.

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The teens want to have their own money. Teens want to have discretionary funds they can use without their parents poking at them and auditing all their cents. If the parents would let their teenagers manage their own money, they should be ready to give them advises on money management such as budgeting and fund management. In this way, they can be sure that their teens will not just squander their money on less important things.

The following may help the teens manage their money:

Teach the teens to save
Encourage the teens to open a savings account to deposit their earnings. Even just a few dollars a week will be good enough. If their parents are giving them allowances, they can talk to them and ask them to set aside some dollars in the bank. When the time comes that they need to withdraw, they will be amazed to see how much money they have saved. The teens want to have money and let them save.

Teens must spend wisely
The biggest nightmare among the teens is to wake up with nothing to spend, yet the next allowance is still a few days away. They will be forced to borrow and this will only add more problems. Spending wisely is a must especially to those with tight budget. If the school is just a walking distance, they should be happy to take a walk and enjoy that needed exercise. Need to go dating? Why not ask their crushes to have a chat with them in the park, this way they don’t need to spend much. A can of soda could do the trick. The teens want to have money and let them spend wisely.

Introduce the teens to fund management
There are many plans of fund management that are available to teens. With a few dollars, the teens can have the opportunity to increase their money under the watchful eyes of money experts. This will also add pride to the teens for having invested money like what the grownups did. In addition, requiring them to pay taxes out of their investment will make the teens contributors to the national coffers. The teens want to know the rudiments of fund management and let them know.

Get a checking account
Getting a checking account will teach the teens some financial responsibility. Just imagine the teens issuing some checks for their purchases and or services they acquired. Knowing that a bouncing check would have legal repercussions, the teens will be extra careful in handling their finances. The teens want to think big so let them have their own checkbooks.

Let them get credit cards
The feel in getting credit cards nowadays is greatly different as compared many years ago. Before, a person is jubilant when his application is approved because it proves that he is credit worthy. Today, credit card offers are numerous that it will make the eyes bulge. The teens must be extra cautious on the type of cards they will apply. The benefits are vaguely explained in the ads or in the emails when credit card companies promote these cards. Most often, actual charges and interest rates are hidden, only to make the teens sorry for just freely making purchases. Credit cards are there to allow the teens to purchase, but they have to purchase only those things that are needed. They must avoid being compulsive buyers. The teens want to have a say in their purchases and parents must allow them have credit cards.

Parents have a lot to explain to their teens about money management. No matter what the teens want, the parents are in the best position to tell what is best for their teenagers. Just remember that the parents could contribute much to the success or failure of their teens. The teens want to have money and give them that golden opportunity. Let the teens manage their money and make them real money managers.

 

Promote independence with pocket-money

Effective parents make themselves redundant. That is, they look for ways that they can give responsibility to their children. The use of pocket-money is a fantastic way of promoting real independence and a sense of responsibility in children and teenagers.

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In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether it should be earned or only given when children behave well.

My belief is that children should receive pocket-money as their small share of the family-wealth just as they should share the workload at home. This is not to say that the family income is divided equally between all members. Rather, children are given a realistic sum of money, given their age, needs and ability to deal with money.

It makes sense to provide guidelines about spending including letting them know just what they are expected to buy. A child in lower primary school may get enough to purchase some sweets and one or two other items, whereas a child in upper primary school may get enough to cover lunch orders, bus money and some treats. An allowance that covers clothing can be useful for adolescents who can be very costly to outfit in the latest fashions. Let them know you will buy the basics items and that they can make up the difference between brand names and basic items from their pocket-money.

Pocket-money can teach children a great deal about goal-setting. By encouraging children to save for a big ticket item such as a bike or skateboard children learn a great deal about planning and looking ahead, the value of budgeting and experience personal satisfaction of reaching a goal

When used in this way, pocket-money is an excellent way to develop independence in children and young people.

But my children don’t spend money wisely! It helps if you give them guidance from the start and also insist that they divide their pocket-money three ways – some for spending, some for the future and some for charity or a social service. I am loathe to interfere too much in their spending as it is their share of the wealth and they need to have some control over their spending. However there are times when for children’s own long-term best interests that parents need to step in. For instance, if a child has a weight-problem and he or she is always buying sweets then parental interference is the best option. It is about knowing your child and using common sense.

Should children be given pocket-money if they misbehave? It is wisest to keep pocket-money and behaviour separate. Parents can get themselves into also sorts of bother and cause a great deal of resentment in children when they withdraw pocket-money until they behave better. Look for other ways to promote good behaviour rather than withholding their allowance.

How often should pocket-money be given? It helps if pocket-money is given regularly. Like adults children should have a pay day each week or fortnight when they receive their share of the family wealth. Give it to them in coins so they can easily allocate it to different uses.

At what age can I start with pocket-money? You can start giving pocket-money to children as young at four and cut it out on their fifteenth birthday so they are encouraged to get a part-time job. For four and five year olds give them a couple of coins and relate them to two items that you routinely buy for them as treats. Let them know they can buy these themselves or put their money in a money-box for later.

The use of pocket-money is one way to remove pressure children place on their parents to buy, buy, buy. When they come home from school and ask you to buy the latest toy because all their friends have one you can let them know that they can purchase it or at least make a contribution from their personal wealth.

For more practical ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people read Michael's best selling Parenting, Caring, Procreate book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.Parenting, Caring, Procreateideas.com.au.

Michael Grose is a leading parent educator. he is the author of six book and 300 articles, and he gives over 100 presentations a year.

For more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael’s Grose’s free fortnightly email newsletter for parents. Get a free report Seven ways to reduce sibling fighting when you subscribe at http://www.Parenting, Caring, Procreateideas.com.au