Parenting, Caring, Procreate
Do You Show Your
Love To Your Child?
Love is the biggest show-and-tell of them all and you need to make it a part of your every day life.
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Show-and-Tell in various forms is a popular feature of many preschool classrooms. When you watch children making their presentation you understand the popularity of show-and-tell. Kids love to talk about their interests and passions but they love to share those interests and passions even more.
Kids are all about show. As a parent you know this. We have to demonstrate and lead our children by the hand through every lesson--both big and small.
So why do we so often think it is enough to simply tell our children that we love them? It isn't enough. Love is the biggest show-and-tell of them all and you need to make it a part of your every day life.
Children do as we do, not as we say, and down the road do we really want our children simply mouthing the word: "I love you" to us as they rush out the door? Or do we want them to show us in many ways?
This is why it is crucial to show your child that you love him.
Hugs and kisses are good. So are tickles and games. My son and I have little bedtime rituals that allow us to show our love for each other.We snuggle for bedtime stories and talk about the day. Then we come up with ridiculous ways to count how much we love each other, for example 12,567 heffalumps was one recent description. Then we butterfly kiss, eskimo kiss, and finally squish and smooch (our code words for hugs and kisses).
However these are not the only ways that I demonstrate my love for my son.
When I was growing up I never doubted that my parents loved me. They made very clear that my brother and I were a top priority for them. They sacrificed professionally and personally to give us time together as a family. My father coached; my parents chaperoned, volunteered, and chauffered; and my parents attended every school function, play, concert, and game.
More than that though my parents took an interest in us as people and would play games or ride bikes. They would simply spend time with us doing the things that we liked doing.
It really isn't just about time. After all, both my parents worked and were active in the community. My mother was the only working mother in the neighborhood when I was a child.
It is a question of priorities. YOU know that your child is your top priority, but what do your actions tell your child? If repeatedly your actions put something or someone else before your child then they are going to get that message loud and clear no matter what is in your heart.
Most days my husband leaves for work before our son is even awake, but when he comes home in the evening the first thing he does is scoop Noah up for a tickle and hug. Sometimes Noah even makes his father chase him because he knows that his father will. Noah knows that he is a priority for his father and he trusts that love.
So how can you show your child he is a priority? How can you demonstrate your love for your child? Find some way every day to show as well as tell your child of your love. Some ways we do this in our home:
~ Skip dinner preparations and make a picnic together to eat at the location of che child's choice. Noah's favorite is up in his tower.
~ Clicking off the TV to lay on the floor and layout a train track. Coming up with new designs can actually be pretty relaxing for the parent after a stressful day!
~ Going for a walk and just talking about whatever comes up. This is one of Noah's favorites!
~ Setting down my own book to read Noah one of his.
~ Putting off kitchen cleanup to go outside and play soccer or tag.
Notice what all these actions have in common? They don't involve money, just your time and attention. That is the gift your child values above all else. Sure they'd like that latest toy and gadget they see advertised on TV, but they love you and long after that toy is abandoned in the back of their closet they will still choose to spend time with you.
Notion Of " Super Mom"-All You Need Is Love
Forget trying to be a "Super Mom." These are moms who try to be all things to all people and come up short in the process. Today's moms have learned to prioritize, focusing not only on our families but on taking care of ourselves.
Redefining The Notion Of " Super Mom"-All You Need Is Love
Every day as I watch my three children grow, I reflect on my most important career choice-the day I became a mom. Like other women, I've struggled to balance work, life, home and family, but the good news is there is a solution.
First is to forget trying to be a "Super Mom." These are moms who try to be all things to all people and come up short in the process. Today's moms have learned to prioritize, focusing not only on our families but on taking care of ourselves. Our lives come in seasons, and I find that when I'm stretched too thin, I'm not effective at anything. Taking time for myself is a win-win for everybody.
As moms, once we have our priorities in line, we can then be more productive in all areas of our lives. For me, these include my faith, my family and then of being of service through volunteer work. I think we can have it all, just not all at once.
To find out more about how moms balance their busy lives, Sharpie, a trusted mom tool, surveyed moms and found that 95 percent of us agree that taking time for ourselves makes us a better mother. Still, 44 percent said that spending time with their family is the best stress relief.
The survey also identified a new breed of mothers-"Signature Moms." These are moms who have their own way of Parenting, Caring, Procreate and expressing love to their children-whether it's by volunteering at school, attending extracurricular games and activities or taking a much-deserved mom break.
To celebrate today's Signature Moms and help set priorities, here are some simple things moms can do to keep love at the forefront of their family relationships. These "10 easy ways to say I love you" have helped me daily, and I hope they will do the same for you.
1. Slip a handmade valentine or a simple note into your child's lunch box.
2. Take a walk together in the woods or your favorite park.
3. Jot down a line from your favorite poem. Share it with family members.
4. Kiss your kids good night, but also every chance you get.
5. Read a chapter book together.
6. Make it a priority to have family dinnertime together-no matter how busy the schedule.
7. Turn off the TV. Have a pizza night and watch a movie together.
8. Have a picnic in the park after the soccer game, instead of stopping for a fast meal on the way home.
9. Have each family member write down one reason why they appreciate each other. Write your reasons on a tag and use ribbon to attach them to a batch of your favorite cookies. Let every family member find his/her own special cookies.
10. Help your kids write a letter to a family member who lives far away. Write the first few lines of a story and instruct the recipient to write the next, and then return the letter. Your story can continue indefinitely.
The Not so Perfect
Parent or (Lose the Guilt)
Are you constantly beating yourself up because you think you are a bad parent? Are the books all telling you HOW to be a parent?
If this is true, read how to "lose the guilt."
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All of us have that guilty feeling from time to time and yet it is the most wasted emotion of all. We can't take back words or actions, no matter how hard we wish.
If you are a parent, this guilt seems to be present even more. This useless feeling is a universal phenomenon.
Why does this "guilt trip" seem to be an expanding epidemic?
I believe the answer to that is (1) More women work away from home (2)Single-Parenting, Caring, Procreate is on the rise and (3) There are so many books written on how to be a "good" parent. The first two things I have mentioned will sometimes keep you away from the time you would be spending with your child. I firmly believe in quality, not quantity.
Now don't get me wrong. There are many excellent books that have been written regarding child-rearing. I'm sure they are helpful. The point I am driving at is this; there seems to be a lot of pressure to be a "good parent." We certainly should all keep trying but also, keep in mind that you have your own inner voice that tells you what is best for you and your child. What works for Johnny may not necessarily work for Mary. If in doubt, follow your heart!
Guess What? When you are not perfect, you are letting your children know that you are human. You are also teaching them to forgive, as you forgive them.
Worried about being perfect? Think about the person who reared you? Were they perfect? Do you love them today?
Children can tell if they are truly loved. It is not measured by how many hours are spent with them or if you were tired that day and lost your cool. It is certainly not measured by how much money you can spend on them.
Your child already knows that you are not perfect. He or she also knows how much you love them. You can't fool a child. They are spirits like you and I. They are the most honest people on this earth. (Remember how they informed Aunt Edna that she had a hair growing from her chin?)Believe me, they are honest and will forgive your mistakes.
Please forgive yourself. No one has ever been a perfect parent...not ever. If you love yourself, you forgive yourself.
As Oscar Wilde, an Irish playwright and poet wrote: (1843-1900)
"To love oneself is the beginning
of a lifelong romance"
If you love yourself and forgive yourself, that is another lesson your child will pick up from you. It's a win, win situation!
So, relax. Bask in the fullness of your reciprocal love with your
Some day he/she may be telling a story...."remember when Mom did.........."