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Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation

 

Some Does and Don’t for Internet Dating

Internet dating has become a great way for people to meet people. Many singles are finding that internet dating is the golden ticket for discovering new love and true love! Is your schedule crazy busy? Want to experience a different way to find a date? Like getting to know people? Want to turn strangers into friends? Internet dating may just be the golden ticket for you!

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Internet dating has become a great way for people to meet people. Many singles are finding that internet dating is the golden ticket for discovering new love and true love! Is your schedule crazy busy? Want to experience a different way to find a date? Like getting to know people? Want to turn strangers into friends? Internet dating may just be the golden ticket for you!

Look, in this day and age Internet dating is life – and it is here to stay. Yet, many singles are unsure of this 21st century dating technique. Many fear the outcome. They fall prey to the stereotypes associated with the notion of cyber dating: What will other people think of me? Will I end up going out with a cyber geek? Is this kind of dating safe?

No one will think less of you for trying out online dating – so what if you end up dating a cyber geek? First dates can be last dates. If you are worried about being safe, online dating can be safe - if you exercise a few precautions.

While many singles fear meeting married liars or stalkers-in-the-making, the biggest challenge typically ends up being the magnitude of it all. Potential online daters quickly find there are a boat load (think cruise line sized ship) of people seeking dates and mates. Check this out: During December 2003, 14 percent of the active American online population, or 21 million unique users, visited a personals/dating destination, according to Nielsen/NetRatings. Eureka! Match seekers nirvana!

Tens of thousands of people have met, dated, and eventually married as a result of their online dating experience. However, it is still vitally important when using online dating services, to exercise caution. Do some homework and you will likely avoid the pitfalls of cyber dating. And it is work. Filtering through the responses and “getting to know” the people who really pique your interest could take days! But there is an element of control with online dating - you have plenty of time to check, double-check and triple check things out. Pay attention to online inconsistencies – a red flag to help you avoid disappointment down the road. Keep your antenna up and be deliberate. Then, have some fun!

DO's and DONT's FOR ONLINE DATING

Do make calls with a cell phone that won't be identified on caller ID.

Do meet in a public place for at least the first few meetings.

Do let someone know whom you're meeting and where.

Do take a cell phone with you and have someone call to check that you're OK.

Do ask lots of questions. Look for consistency in responses.

Don't reveal too much personal information too quickly. Make sure e-mails can't be traced and don't reveal a signature line.

Don't invest too much in one person; correspond with several people to save time.

 

Dating, Marriage, Love, and Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation Advice: The Dance of Commitment and Your Secret Passion Signature!

If you are single, dating, or trying to get to “I DO” and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation advice you could ever receive. Did you know that some people just don't let themselves have love? Some are eaten alive with the “fear of commitment.” Some can’t let themselves take the risk or feel vulnerable so they string you along in a dating Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation. Some people don't love themselves enough to value you if you love them. Here's how to spot the signs of a hopeless case, using little known Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation tips.

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If you are single, dating, or trying to get to “I DO” and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation advice you could ever receive. Did you know that some people just don't let themselves have love? Some are eaten alive with the “fear of commitment.” Some can’t let themselves take the risk or feel vulnerable so they string you along in a dating Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation. Some people don't love themselves enough to value you if you love them. Here's how to spot the signs of a hopeless case, using little known Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation tips.

The truth is that unless a soul is willing to be involved with you, there is no hope whatsoever for a love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation. No set of skills you learn from any book, seminar, or TV program can create a breakthrough when the other does not choose it. Of course, this can be terribly frustrating for you if you are dating or married and a willing partner. It's painful, a lot like hitting your head against the wall. Nonetheless, all too often we do not listen when we are told no, because we believe there must be something more we can do to fix the situation so that our desires prevail. Each of us wants what we want when we want it, especially when it comes to love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation, so we tend to ignore the inevitable and keep on trying. I've done this myself. I may be a therapist, but I am a woman first and I learned these lessons through painful firsthand experience.

In a dating Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation, a man who says, "This Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation doesn't fit into my 20-year projection," or a woman who tells you, "I leave everybody with whom I get involved," is telling you that he or she is not available. And that's the truth. Most likely this person has chosen this dating Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation with its current limitations because it didn't have long-term potential in his or her mind. It doesn't matter how great the sex is, how attractively you dress, or how well you get along, the day will come when you will hit a nasty wall of resistance. You may even hit the wall right after you attain an amazing state of ecstatic union. Then, out of the blue, everything will come to a screeching halt. When suddenly your love interest informs you, "It's over," it's super important to listen to what is being said to you and heed the message. Otherwise you are in for deeper disappointment.

Ironically dating that leads to a true love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation is terrifying to the hidden part of us that's responsible for our safety and survival. If we love deeply and surrender to love, fear naturally arises. Opening up to another being tends to bring up old wounds from the past, especially childhood. The survival system can be stronger than the human heart. Its only interest is in protecting us from getting hurt by anyone or anything. For some of us, the possibility of establishing a profound connection poses perhaps the biggest threat. The fear of commitment often masks a deeper issue. You may feel "not good enough," "engulfed," "not perfect," and so on. The fire of passion is literally too hot for many people to handle, so they run away. Without making the soul choice to hang in there and face the fire, our desired connections don't stand a chance.

There are love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation tips you can use to let you know that you have snagged someone afraid of connection. See if these sound familiar:

1. After the sexual excitement has died down a bit your lover becomes elusive.
2. Your love interest starts avoiding opportunities to get together, and when you mention it you are called a "complainer."
3. Any mention on your part of moving into more commitment is met with evasion, "Do what you need to do for yourself. Don't worry about me."
4. Your partner develops a roving eye. Sitting at a dinner table you see your beloved watching everyone that passes.
5. The sexual interest dies between you. You express a desire for more affection and are told that you are "too pushy."

It doesn't matter what techniques you use in a love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation. Unless there is an awakening of consciousness and a desire to increase the level of intimacy, there cannot be a breakthrough. In my therapeutic practice I have watched women spend ten years with men who were terrified of being abandoned but were also terrified of commitment. When push comes to shove this type of man chooses his freedom over the woman. He is often too concerned with what he could miss out on later to commit to today.

In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Personal Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations in Love, Life and Work, I identify 5 signature styles of relating. Each has a healthy balanced, loving aspect, which makes for great Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations and a wounded side, which shows up as the inability to love or commit for one reason or another. They are the Warrior/Conqueror, Lover/Vamp, Creator/Martyr, Prophet/Perfectionist, and Visionary/Perfectionist. To create a breakthrough in receiving the love you want or commit to the love you have, you must step into the balanced healthy aspect of your signature.

In romantic Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations the Warrior is committed, sexy and loyal. The Conqueror works so many hours s/he is not available for commitment. The Lover is wonderful with commitment and intimacy. The Vamp can be desperately needy and make you want to run from commitment. The Creator is fantastic at commitment. The Martyr feels trapped in intimate Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations and runs at the first sign of commitment. The Prophet is a blissfully connected lover. The Escapist is a Houdini who will run from you at the first sign of commitment. The Visionary is positive, high energy and a great mate. The Perfectionist is disappointed by anyone who turns up in the flesh because they are searching for the perfect mate.

The wounded aspects of the “passion signatures” can get in the way of deepening intimacy and cause you to waste precious time. I have seen men and women spend 30 years trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right, and no one was ever good enough. If this type is your partner, you won't be good enough either.

You can beg a workaholic Conqueror to come home and put your Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation first for decades, only to bury this type of mate before the request is honored. You can also consume five years trying to get a Martyr to join you in a grounded, forward-moving Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation to no avail, and forfeit just as many years of effort trying to establish a significant Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation with a Vamp who is only attracted to the unavailable. Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations can be used as vessels for growth and healing, but only between willing partners.

A 45-year-old Martyr grew up under the domination of an angry, controlling mother. As an adult, he continued waging battle against his mother by never committing to one woman. In a series of monogamous Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations, he provoked a long stream of women to become hostile and demanding, just like his mother, until the day came when each one could not stand any more and left him in disgust. What he didn't realize was that his past was ruling his life and that love would elude him forever unless he dealt with his wounds. His latest girlfriend, a woman who wanted to understand her patterns, brought him to my office. She asked me to help her decide whether or not to stay in it, or break it off.

The man was the eternal "nice guy" who would do anything for his woman, except commit. Each of his previous girlfriends only knew this side of him, because he was a chameleon. His defiance of her was never put in her face. It was subtle, insidious, behind-the-back stuff, nothing she could put her finger on. He seemed to be there, in the dating Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation, except he wasn't really there. He told his new love interest that he was keeping his connections with the other women because he didn't like to hurt people. He insisted that he wasn't stringing anyone along . . . it was just that he had never found the one woman to whom he could commit. His fears were sabotaging the Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation.

My client who was the wounded Lover/Vamp had been replaying a traumatic childhood scene of her own with the boyfriend. In Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation with him, she basically was trying to get her abandoning father not to leave. Her dad had walked out on her family when she was a small child, never to be seen again. Both she and her boyfriend were full-grown adults, yet when it came to love they were hopelessly locked in a painful cycle of tug of war. She was sabotaging her happiness by trying to persuade an unavailable man to love her.

Remember: There are no bad guys here. Sometimes we're ready for things and sometimes we are not. A sign that you are personally unready is that you continue dating people who are also not available when you check below the surface. Or if they are available, you "make" them not good enough, or tell yourself, "Not now." If you are on the receiving end of a message of reluctance, hang in there for a little while in case your love interest becomes more comfortable. Seek help in processing your feelings if you must. But if you find your self-esteem draining from you while you wait, or you feel less and less valued by your mate, it is time to "cut bait" (break up), toss "the fish" (your partner) back into the sea, and walk away.

There are more easy-to-apply love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation tips and tools you can use to create commitment in what looks like hopeless cases. In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliations in Love, Life and Work, you will find lots more to help you have the love Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation you deserve.

Here's one final thought. If you are in a loving Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation, it is vital that managing the Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation and growing in the Relationship, Liaison, Alliance, Affiliation become your two highest priorities. You must be honest and diligent, take responsibility for your own energy, feelings, thoughts, and defenses, and try to understand your impact on your partner. This last item matters most when things are going wrong or you want to deepen your connection. These are keys to unleashing romantic passion.

Excerpt from The Passion Principle, Copyright Donna LeBlanc 2006

 

Dating Brings Dramatic Results To Singles

Hi. My name is Lance. I’m a handsome guy with medium built figure and height. I feel that my life is hanging upside down now because of my super shy nature.

onlinedating

Hi. My name is Lance. I’m a handsome guy with medium built figure and height. I feel that my life is hanging upside down now because of my super shy nature. Although, I get along pretty much well with others and have a bunch of close friends, I feel freezed when I come across a girl. I can’t tell you the trauma of watching my friends going out on date with the girls they meet at bars and pubs. i will be usually found sitting in a corner of bar with my drink and feeling miserable on my self.

I feel really embarrassed before my friends due to my shyness. Some of my friends even tried to arrange a blind date for me, but it never seemed to work out. But it’s the limit, I really need to get rid of my shyness as early as possible. I don’t want to be labeled as the loser who never gets a date, that’s kind of too distressing.

So guys, tonight I am going out on a date with a girl, whom one of my friends dated a couple of moths back. It’s a blind date as I have never met this girl. I’m too nervous; this date has to be successful. I need to find a girl that I can say I’m dating, that I can say I am going steady with. I’m tired of always being the left out one when my friends and I go out. So wish me luck!

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